So now you have made your first experience with relaxation. How did it feel? What did you experience? I shall share with you some experiences I've made myself or people around me shared with me when doing that kind of exercise.
The following statement is not a transcript but gives in its sense what Karen experienced during her first relaxation session:
"First of all I was nervous and I don't really know why, maybe just because of the unknown. I've closed my eyes so many times in my life, but I never did it actually on the purpose of such an exercise. When I closed my eyes the first thing I saw.....was nothing. It was just black, not even a picture. I would have expected to see something like in a dream, but nothing.
While thinking about all this I suddenly realized that I was not really getting into it, I was not at all focused on the task at hand. Quite contrary thoughts suddenly started to pop up from everywhere. Did I turn off the light when I left my apartment this morning and yes, I have to call my mom, I promised? And I really needed to call back my dentist to confirm the appointment and so on and so on.
I was not sure if I was doing it right. Then I remembered that I just had to focus on what was going on in my mind and suddenly the first image came: The image of my grandmother, smiling and waving her hand at me. I have no idea why and how this image came to me, but here it was, like real and I suddenly felt better, safer, more relaxed."
Maybe you experienced something similar as Karen. Many when they close their eyes just experience a big black wall and that is perfectly right. Physically you won't see anything; well maybe a few lights will still pass through your eyelids. The experience of "seeing" with closed eyes may have a very different meaning for some. Myself I don't really actually see, at least it isn't the same experience as with open eyes. It's just there and somewhat I know that I'm imaging myself what I see and that works fine for me.
It wouldn't be surprising - like Karen experienced it - that you are nervous at the first exercises, because it's a new world you discover and you have to get used to it, but as we said at the beginning - close your eyes and relax, you will get used to it.
A very common reaction when going into the state of relaxation is that thoughts start popping up from everywhere. Suddenly there is space for them, as they often do while you are asleep. They have no particular order and have not to be connected at all. You will realize how creative your brain can be. The most important thing to understand is that the thoughts are YOUR thoughts and it is your brain that makes them pop up. So it is up to you to control them. The most difficult thing for me at first was to stay focused, stick to one single thought or just try to think of nothing. With every day I exercised it got easier to control my own mind and this is one of the most important things during relaxation - to stay focused. Hence the second exercise to just think of nothing.
In years of training I am easily capable of doing this and even if people tend not to believe it, yes you can think of nothing. The most important thing is to refuse any kind of thought that is not the one you want. When you close your eyes and are in front of the black wall, just stay focused on the black wall and look at the color and whenever a thought turns up, just push it aside. For some it may be even helpful to do it physically, that is to wave the thought away with your hand.
You may ask yourself: "Why is it so important?"
It's the only way you can start to work on yourself and really stay focused. Relaxation is also about being focused, concentration and yes, if you want to achieve something more, than just a black wall, then it is work, but with one big difference - it's fun!
Now that you experiences some first steps we can start to build ourselves a new world - your world of relaxation.
